This is Jackson’s grandma. I would like to personally thank each and every one of you for your support and love that you have continued to show us over the last two years. We have had so many emotions, blessings and heartaches that we would not have been able to get through without the continued support of family and friends.
I would like to write today in response to one comment recently posted on the blog under the post “Stealing from the married ones too” regarding an article in the Salt Lake Tribune written by Brooke Adams. First I, we would like to say we do not normally respond to negative comments because everyone has the right to their own opinion and we have learned a great deal about all sides of adoption. Emotions are high from each angle. We respect that.
Though this comment made a statement at the end which is totally untrue. Jake has not acted in any way “creepy” towards the birth mother or adoptive parents. In fact Jake has from the beginning taken the high road, and tried to ensure that the names of the adoptive couple are not revealed. He has not spoken with Whitney since the night that she told him that she had given Jackson up. We have seen Whitney in court twice, while supporting Kyle(Whitney's ex husband) in a court hearing which involved two counts of child neglect that had been reported to DCFS. But, none of our family spoke to Whitney.
As far as reaching out to the adoptive couple, I placed two calls in April 2011, to the paternal grandparents requesting that the couple and Jake meet to share their sides of the story. I did this because I know them, and had babysat for them as a teenager; one of the children I tended was the adoptive father. We had a very respectful conversation for over an hour, I requested that they please discuss it with the adoptive couple and call me back in a week. When we spoke the second time they had been instructed by their attorney, Larry Jenkins, to only go through their counsel and the courts when dealing with Jake. I left all of our contact information and we hung up on very cordial terms.
In fact my father, Jake’s grandfather, is still very good friends with adoptive grandparents and they see each other often.
In November 2011, I again was the one who wrote letters to the adoptive couple, grandparents, adoption agencies and attorneys. This was not because Jake was not will or was not wanting to reach out. I did it because I felt that as a mother, grandmother and concerned citizen it was my duty to do so. Each of these letters are posted on the blog, in December 2011. When we posted these letters Jake made sure that the names were redacted of all the adoptive family.
This blog is set up for Jackson to be used as a journal and space to express emotions and spread Jack's story. We hand out fliers everywhere we go, and have logos on our cars to get the word out about Jake and Jack’s story. Again this is to help inform others of the abuse that is and has been happening in Utah adoptions as well as to help us deal with missing Jackson.
To imply that Jake has acted inappropriate towards the birth mother or the adoptive couple is just simply not true. Jake has continued to fight in court for his right to parent his only child, he will continue to do so through the Utah Supreme Court. We will also continue to work to change the laws in Utah to protect all parties in adoption, not just birth fathers.
Jake was with Whitney throughout her pregnancy, he did more than just financially support her. They were together at family gatherings, Jack’s baby shower, Christmas events, and even at the lights the night before Jack was born. Relationships are to be built on trust. Jake believed Whitney and even asked her around the middle of December if she was thinking of adoption – to which she responded “of course not, I can’t believe you would even ask me”. Whitney’s only threat that Jake saw that was real at this time was that she would hold true to her word that if he did file on the paternity registry, if he did Whitney would receive notice, he would never see his son. That is what Jake was told over and over by Whitney. That threat of not seeing his son was real if he filed. Jake watched how Whitney acted with Emery and her ex- husband. Jake did not find out she was still married until the end of January 2011. Several others that know Whitney also believed that she was divorced. Call it what you would like, fraud, deceit, manipulation but to ensure that Whitney was able to get what she wanted that is what she did.
For a child who is in need of a loving home because their birth parent(s) cannot provide one for them for different reasons,then adoption is a blessing. Most adoptive couples are trying to adopt because they cannot have their own biological children. One way or another there has to be some type of loss for an adoptive child, sometimes it is for the adoptive parents as well. Adoption has a lot of pain behind the veil of bliss that all would like to believe it is.
To place a child into an adoptive situation when they have a loving father and family who has ALWAYS wanted, and can care for them is wrong. Many adoptive children long for those who look like them, have their same genetic traits and talents. It is not right to make the adoptive couple in fraudulent adoptions justify why they got to take the child home when their parents wanted them and did not place them for adoption.
Also, in fraudulent adoptions many things are left out such as medical information. When both parents consent some agencies provide medical information, LDS family services is one agency that does. But, because the social worker and Whitney did not want Jake involved, Jack has been denied his medical information.
Since we again know where Jack is, we have continued to reach out, we are willing to provide all information for Jack. The adoptive couple’s attorney again has been the stumbling block. But, all the adoptive couple has to do is to ask, even through their parents to Jake’s grandfather. We have no other way to provide it.
Utah is a breeding ground for corruption because the laws have made fraudulent actions legal in adoption. The truth is that these laws are only words on paper. They will never change the fact that Jack is Jake’s son and part of our family. Whether Jack comes home now, or is not able to connect with Jake until he is an adult we will be here for him. Jack does not have to choose a family when he is an adult. There is room for everyone, it is better to have more people in your life that love you.
We have NOT nor will we ever wish any ill will towards the adoptive couple. We would never want Jack to be hurt or feel torn, but he has the right to the TRUTH and his FAMILY.
Dear adoptive parents of Jack, please love this little one with all of your heart. Enjoy his every waking moment that he is in your care. Take time to see the world through his baby blue eyes (I hope he got his daddy’s eyes). Please don’t restrain his need for adventure, let him be curious and make mistakes to learn from. If he takes after his daddy, you will love his outgoing funny personality, his true love for people, his wonderfully kind heart and trusting nature.
Most of all treasure Jack as Jake does and love him enough to let him know his family.